Zombie Apocalypses are all the rage now, it seems. Between that, Pirates vs. Ninjas, Shiny Vampires, and Area 51, zombies seem to be of highest concern. Perhaps it is the thought that mindless, deceased, murderous bodies are more plausible than burglars from the sea or Asians that know martial arts, and that the monotonous everyday chores of going to school and studying no longer provide us the excitement that teenagers of our generation crave.
A bit more attractive than shiny vampires, no?
There are many theories about how to survive in the event that the living dead finds reason to rise and start killing. From personal experience (yes, personal experience; I swear), these are my tips to everyone who hope to live until the next major fad.
First, we have to assume that the government will not respond quickly or effectively enough. As President Reagan said: ”The nine most terrifying words in the English language are: ‘I’m from the government and I’m here to help.’”
Hello? There’s a zombie attack, you say? Can I get your SSN and, for further verification, your mother’s maiden name?
Second, you have to be mobile. If you are fat, you are pretty much screwed. That’s it. You can stop reading this until you lose like 100 pounds / 45.53 kg. Think of the battle between Cell and Trunks in the Anime Dragonball Z during the Cell Saga. Cell mocks Trunks for continuously powering up; his powering up made him stronger, albeit bulkier, which slowed him down and cost him the battle.
Third, do not carry guns. You will not be able to carry enough ammo. A crowbar is effective and practical for breaking into things. Swords can cut things up. Energy blasts would be useful also.
Lastly, if you stop by a computer, and you check your email, Facebook, or your blog, remember to sign out! If not, they might go through your information and, with that information, be able to deduce where you are hiding. And, certainly, you do not want zombies mocking you before they kill you because they read through your private messages about how desperately and pathetically you want your ex back.
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I had originally compose this on a girl’s blog for this Anime class. She had signed on from a public computer and did not log out (hence the reference to that toward the end). I didn’t publish it, and nether did she. So, this means I can publish it here. If she saw this in her drafts, she still has no idea who wrote it because I didn’t sign it. Imagine if an anonymous stranger drafted a blog post for you for your blog. Wouldn’t you be giddy?
