I’m Forever Yours

We know that I am pretty observant.  At least, I pretend to be, and you might believe it.

Lately, I’ve been wondering if the reason that I am so observant is because I have trust problems.  That the reason I find it necessary to be able to read people is because I don’t believe everything people tell me, so I find out myself.

Granted, I think, conversely, that most people can do with being a little more observant sometimes.  However, I think I do have a trust problem.  I like to think that I don’t, but it’s kind of obvious that I do, and I should accept it and come to terms with it.

Also, is it possible to be too accepting?  Ideally, when you realize something is true, you should accept it.  However, we know very well that what truth is a funny thing sometimes.  How can we accept what is true when we don’t always know what is true?  Also, what if, sometimes, it is better to not accept something?  If I accept what I think is true that I am a bad tuba player, will that encourage me to work harder or not as hard as if I do not accept that?  Also, do we fall into what I call a “void of mediocrity” when we start accepting everything as they are?  That is, if we accept that life sucks, then it will suck.  But if we don’t accept it, we might try to make it better.

Just go with it.

Spreading Yourself (Not Literally)

There is that saying that happiness / smiling is contagious. And it’s true. If you have not noticed it already in your own life, there are articles about that.

However, how often do we think about or care that the opposite is also true? When we are sad, we can bring down those with whom we directly associate. We can also bring down those with whom those associates associate. When we are sad, it may seem like not much else really matters except for what is making us sad. My belief is that we should learn to pull ourselves back when we are sad and look at ourselves from…well, the outside. So, instead of being sad and looking at the world through your sad eyes, be the world at look at your sad self. You might find that not everything is as big of a deal as it seems; in fact, it usually is not. Realize, also, how you are also hurting others, either consciously or unconsciously, because of your biased emotions. Remember who cares about you and try not to mistreat them.

Another important thing to mention is that your world — that is, your perception of the word, is based on…well, yourself. If you are a happy person, the world seems to filled with more happy things. Similarly, if you are a liar and always lie, the world will lie back at you; your life will be full of lies. And so on; it is a combination of perception, attention to details, archetyping, bias, and maybe some other factors.

Also related, on a more specific note, is how you dislike someone: there is something about them that you see in yourself that you do not like. In other words, it is totally your fault that you dislike someone. Even if this someone hurts you; you dislike the fact that you let that person exploit your weakness. In other words, you would not have gotten hurt if you had not let them hurt you. And you should not have gotten hurt – why should you let someone hurt you? Well, we will get to that later.

Drawing the Line

There’s this song out on the radio right now. It starts off with something about how he wishes he were a billionaire or something stupid like that. Pretty much a song about materialism. My response to the song was that it is ridiculous. Well, obviously I would say that, but I went on to explain how materialism is not necessarily a bad thing; however, the line for materialism gets drawn really quickly. In other words, it is good to have desires, goals, and dreams, but only as a means to self improvement, and not as a means for personal selfishness. For example, I may want to win a race, but not because winning the race would make me happy, but because winning the race means that I am becoming a better runner, and that my hard work is paying off, and it is that which makes me happy; that is, happiness drawn internally as opposed to externally.

With that, I have found that, for me, having two things about which I am materialistic; that is, about which I obsess, is a good number. Everything else is good from which to detach. That is, there are two things in my life about which I allow myself to be selfish. I believe those two things will bring me to a greater happiness and self improvement.

Many other things enter our lives. Most of those things are distractions, and many are just not worth it to which to get attached.

The concept of detaching and letting go is difficult. Think about everything that makes you happy. Now, think about what really makes you happy. Not just happy in the moment, but truly, deeply happy, maybe for years. Now imagine letting go of everything that does not fall into that second category, leaving you with only your bare essentials of life. Now, rejoice, because you get to keep two things from the first category. Choose wisely.

With this, naturally, comes an interesting technique. That is the ability to turn on and off emotions and feelings. Maybe I’m just a freak. Or maybe certain feelings are also distractions and don’t matter. Or maybe I’m a hedonist. Or maybe we should be detached from certain feelings.

It is through suffering and meditation that we realize that life might not actually be too bad. What irony.

(By that, I mean by going through pain and struggling through it, although meditation does help with that).

Cursing

Using curse words is one of the most unoriginal and nonsensical things that you can do.  I’m talking about those words that everyone uses everyday, to the point where people don’t even think about what the words mean anymore.  Usually, these words are used to emphasize a certain feeling, usually negativity, although they can also be used to emphasize feelings of happiness too.  Makes a lot of sense, doesn’t it?  Actually, these words actually have origins and meanings.  To use them as a qualitative adverb (“I’m so fucking sad/happy”) is not incorrect (it might have been at one point, but language evolves), but it is inefficient and, to an educated ear, impeding to the mean which you are actually trying to convey.  It is inefficient because it does not express your feelings as powerfully as you intended it to do.

Cursing does not express emotions or how passionate you are about something; it expresses laziness and unoriginality.  It probably shows that you are not so passionate at all since you can’t come up with a better word to describe it.  Therefore, it seems logical that all you need to do is use a better word.  A well thought out word that is relevant to the situation and true to your emotions.  So, instead of, “I’m so fucking sad,” how about, “I’m so disappointingly sad,” or, “I’m so confused and sad.”  I’m thinking of someone who just got disappointed by something or someone.  Here, that person has already expressed disappointment or confusion; the person listening does not have to wonder about that and has a better insight on what the speaker will say to her next.

If you just use any generic curse word, it seems to show that you’re not really, say, that sad, because you’re not sad enough to find a way to describe it.  It is like the difference between telling someone, “I love you,” and writing someone a poem expressing your feelings toward them.

I read this one snippet on the internet.  It was about the difference between an English major and a Communications major.  It said:

Comm. major:  “What the hell is a palindrome?”
English major:  “No, it’s not.”

I had to read it a few times, but it’s really funny after you understand it.

These words work the way they do because of society.  Society finds these words offensive, vulgar, powerful, and, in certain situations, forbidden.  Unfortunately, many people haven’t realized that most things that society does is nonsensically stupid.  I honestly don’t understand how people can think that cursing emphasizes what they say, especially when most people curse in every sentence anyway.  If someone like me, who never curses, were to curse, and it were to people who knew me well, then that might be effective.  However, just because I don’t ever curse does not mean that if I were to get really emotional about something and curse while talking to a stranger, that he would know, “Oh, he never curses, but he did now.  He must really mean it.”  However, there is no question about how I feel about something if I say, “That is so degradingly stupid.”

Also, using negative words to emphasize a positive feeling just seems…also inefficient.  Why not use a positive word to emphasize a positive emotion?  “This cheesecake is so fucking good,” -> “This cheesecake is godly good.”  You’d even get alliteration in that, which helps further.  It only sounds weird because no one ever says it.

Think for yourself, and say what you mean by refraining from using nonsensical words.

http://operationoops.blogspot.com/2010/04/cursing.html