Rational Decisions

You’re asking me to be rational. That is something that I know I cannot do. –  Anakin Skywalker, SW Ep. II.

I’m confused because I think logically. – Chris Graugnard.

Women are complicated. –  Some Stranger on Omegle.

And such sums up most of the problems of life.

Thunderstorms and Omegle

Over the past few days, I’ve been so AMAZINGly lonely, so I’ve been talking to strangers on Omegle again. Here a few highlights.

Typical me
You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: Hi
Stranger: hi
Stranger: please be a normal person
You: What’s normal?
Stranger: i dont know go look it up in a dictionary
You: conforming with or constituting a norm or standard or level or type or social norm; not abnormal; “serve wine at normal room temperature”; “normal diplomatic relations”; “normal working hours”; “normal word order”; “normal curiosity”; “the normal course of events”
You: So
You: Do you want normal for Omegle
You: Normal for
You: My city
You: Normal for
You: The South
You: WHat do you want?
Stranger: the social norm
You: Of Omegle/
You: ?
Stranger: no
Stranger: that would make you a weirdo
Stranger: im done
Stranger: I cant stand this tonight
You: If everyone on Omegle is being weird, doesn’t that make them all normal to each other
Stranger: no
Stranger: I hate you
You: When you dislike others, it’s because you see something in them that you don’t like that is a part of yourself
Stranger: why can’t there just be some normal guys to talk too…
You: I don’t know what your definition of normal is
Stranger: nah pretty sure I can dislike without having the trait
Stranger: bye
Stranger: hate you a lot
You: Haha.
You: That’s unfortunate.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Puns!
You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: Hi
Stranger: I AM A WALKING PENIS
Stranger: IT HURTS TO LIVE
Stranger: KILL ME NOW
You: You should go hang yourself
Stranger: OKAY
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: Hi
Stranger: hi im a boy looking for a couger
You: http://www.shorey.net/Auto/American/Ford/1964%20Ford%20Cougar%20II%20Concept%20Car%20Side.jpg
Stranger: huh
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: so whats your reason for not sleeping
You: can’t sleep
You: and you?
Stranger: bored
Stranger: same
Stranger: were ya from??
You: US
You: Maryland
You: YOu?
Stranger: florida
Stranger: it sucks balls
Stranger: hows maryland
Stranger: >>
Stranger: ??
You: Well
You: We got 2 thunderstorms today
You: It’s still humid though
You: And not any cooler
You: What’s wrong with Florida?
Stranger: nothing to do
Stranger: sad but true
Stranger: what r u btw??
You: Amphibious
You: you?
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Because that’s about the only story I remember from high school.
You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: Tell me a story.
You: Hi
You: Hm
Stranger: It better be fucking good
You: So a bunch of kids and I were stuck on an island by ourselves once. We decided that we had to survive on our own, so we organized a democratic system to look out fo each other. Unfortunately, some people got power hungry, and we split into two factions. Then they started seeing ghosts and doing fire rituals, and before you know it, they pushed me off a cliff, and now I’m dead.
You: But eventually all the kids got rescued by grown ups
Stranger: LOTF much?
Stranger: Hi Pig
You: Totally
You: Hi
You: I’m glad you understood it
Stranger: Fucking fat shit, lose some weight and do some fucking work, then people won’t kill you.
You: Too late for that now
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

He forgot that he’s only talking to one person.
You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: Hey, any ladies out there???!!!!
You: hi
You: There are certainly ladies out there.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: Hi
Stranger: emo whore?
You: You mean cows?
Stranger: asl
You: 19 m us
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: Hi
Stranger: Hey, 22 M, ask me any 10 questions you want and I promise to answer truthfully.
You: doughnuts? hungry? what time is it? what’s my favorite color? why is the sky not blue today? giraffes?! Do you like dolphins? is this question 8? hungry? write me a haiku?
Stranger: awesome. no just ate. 11PM. Red. because its night. Awesome. Who doesnt? yes it is. no. poems are gay
You: Sweet
You: Thanks for that. I’m going to bed now
You have disconnected.

You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: Hi
Stranger: hi
Stranger: im 15,
Stranger: how old are you ?
Stranger: 3
Stranger: 2
Stranger: 1
Stranger: 0
You: -`
You: -1
You: -2
You: -3
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

I am annoying.
You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: I’m below 20 years of age, Male, and i live in the USA.
You: Hi
You: You also copied and pasted that for your introduction.
You: Lame.
Stranger: in not gonna type that shit every time
Stranger: so no shit i coppied and pasted it
You: Because everyone loves getting a generic greeting that you give to everyone.
You: Without even typing.
Stranger: yeah well im sick of people saaying asl and having to reply every time and normaly when i say that it gets rid of the other gys
Stranger: *guys
Stranger: i would rather talk to women
You: So say you happen to come across a lady. Wouldn’t it make her feel better to not give her such a generic greeting.
Stranger: idk im not a female
Stranger: r u a lady?
You: Everyone likes a specialized greeting. Or at least know that you show enough interest
Stranger: ok
Stranger: well i dont like talking to guys
Stranger: so? asl?
You: I assure you girls don’t like talking to you either.
Stranger: r u gonna ignore my question?
You: Probably
Stranger: y?
You: Are you 15?
Stranger: im 17
You: Man, you talk like you’re 12.
You: You should work on that.
You: Girls might like that
Stranger: well y the fuck does it mater how i talk?
You: You’re saying it doesn’t matter if it seems like you can or cannot hold an intelligent conversation?
Stranger: no to me it doesnt cuz im tired and i dont care it i dont seem smart
You: You don’t seem to care about anything about yourself. Why would girls want to talk to you? Why would anyone want to talk to you?
Stranger: dont ask me
Stranger: y r u talking to me still?
You: Haha. Because you don’t like talking to guys.
You: But this is what I’m saying. You can barely hold a conversation.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

The best (might not fit correctly on screen)
You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: Hi
Stranger: …… ………………………………………….. …………………,-~~”””’~~–,,_
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………………………………………….. ………………………..|:::::|: : :-~~—: : : —–: |
………………………………………….. ……………………….(_”~-’: : : ::: : : : : :
………………………………………….. ………………………..”’~-,|: : : : : : ~—’: : : :,’–NEVER GONNA GIVE YOU UP
………………………………………….. ……………………………|,: : : : : :-~~–: : ::/ –NEVER GONNA LET YOU DOWN!
………………………………………….. ……………………….,-”’:: :’~,,_: : : : : _,-’
………………………………………….. ………………….__,-’;;;;;:”-,: : : :’~—~”/|
………………………………………….. ………….__,-~”;;;;;;/;;;;;;;: :: : :____/: :’,__
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……………………../;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;,-’…|;;,;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;; ;;;;;| |:|._,-’;;;;;;;;;|;;;;|;;;;;;;;;;;”’-,_
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………………/;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;/…….,-’;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;; ;;;;;;;|:|:|:::::::::::::::|;;;;;|……………. ………….._”
You: Oh yay
You: I just got ASCII Rick Rolled
Stranger:
Stranger: enjoy
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Connection Imploded

That's an implosion. (freeradiocanada.us)

If you’re here because you’re wondering what “connection imploded” means on Omegle, it means that your computer lost connection (as opposed to if your partner disconnects on you because you kept asking if he were a horny female).

Connection Imploded

She has time to talk to my friends now, but she didn’t have time to talk to me before (and didn’t expect to have time now)? Sigh. Anyway.

Omegle conversation log

2010-01-14

You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

You: Hi

Stranger: hello.

Stranger: how are you?

You: I’m okay. How are you?

Stranger: im well thankyou.

You: That’s good.

Stranger: so, where are you from?

You: Louisiana, USA.

You: You?

Stranger: Miami, USA

You: Did you do anything interesting today?

Stranger: well not really. played basketball.

Stranger: yourself?

You: Not really. I played in the pep band at a basketball game

Stranger: ohh cool. whats a pep band?

You: Like, you know how at football games, there are marching bands?

Stranger: ohh ofcourse, silly me.

Stranger: what instrument do you play.

You: Tuba

Stranger: ohh so you good at blowing?

You: And fingering.

Stranger: ohh one better, well done.

Stranger: did not expect that.

You:

Stranger: so your female in assuming?

You: Why do you assume that?

Stranger: well the pep band, and the fingering. one could say it fits into place.

You: I don’t see it. Explain.

Stranger: if your female, you would of had umm practice, hence good at fingering.

Stranger: plus you didnt decline being good at blowing, which a male would

You: How old are you?

Stranger: 17

You: Huh. Ookay.

Stranger: so its a miss?

You: How does pep band contribute to being a girl?

Stranger: stop flooring me, little miss difficult

Stranger:

You: No. You are just strange. I fail to see how you are approaching this.

Stranger: how so?

Stranger: fine dont tell me your gender.

Stranger: tell me your name.

You: First you should tell me why being in pep band is, from what it seems, a girly thing.

Stranger: well playing the tuba isnt so femenine. if you were male wouldnt you rather play>

You: Your second sentence isn’t complete.

Stranger: play basketball.

You: Well. First, you didn’t know what a pep band was. Second. I think you’re an idiot.

Stranger: an idiot?

You: An idiot.

Stranger: why.

You: Not only do you type like an idiot, all of your conclusions are…stupid.

Stranger: enlighten mr.

Stranger: me*

You: Well since you didn’t know what a pep band was, you shouldn’t have made any conclusions about that in the first place…but since you did, no; playing in a pep band is not too feminine…second, why do I have to reject that I’m good at blowing? I merely answered your stupid joke with a stupid one of mine. Unless if you were seriously asking that question, which I don’t see why a smart person would. Third. Wouldn’t a guy have more practice “fingering?” Although it could be debatable, that conclusion is offensive to both males and females.

You: Also…why do guys have to play basketball? Girls can play basketball and be really good too…

Stranger: intelligence.

Stranger: no youre definately female.

Stranger: prove me wrong, please.

You: I can’t. I play in a pep band and don’t play basketball. I’m obviously not manly enough.

Stranger: a man doesnt have to be manly.

You: So. What am I?

Stranger: you could be male, no denying that.

Stranger: however i believe your female.

You: Based on what?

Connection imploded.

Yeah. Connections implode when you talk to stupid people, probably. My conclusion was that he was a homophobic 14 year old.

Radio

This is basically how I feel about songs on the radio these days.

Omegle conversation log

2010-01-01

You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

You: Hi

Stranger: Sup girl

You: Are you going to start rapping?

Stranger: No babe

You: Still sounds like the beginning of a rap.

Stranger: I luv u

You: Still good

Stranger: Do me please

You: Not uncommon.

You: You should start rhyming though

Stranger: Please

You: Alright. Rhyme “please” with “please.” Good enough for radio these days

You: Now you need a catchy chorus

Stranger: Get in my pants

You: Good start

You: Give me more. Something very vague

Stranger: Jk

Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Quite unfortunate that he disconnected.  We might have had the next big hit if he had continued.

Of course

Omegle conversation log

2010-01-01

You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

You: hi

Stranger: Well.

Stranger: That was fast

You: That’s what she said.

Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Today’s post is about an example of how to make a fool out of yourself.  Surprisingly, there are people like this in real life too.

Omegle conversation log

2009-12-07

You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

You: Hello

Stranger: RAWFUL

You: O.o

You: Indeed

Stranger: lol

Stranger: I’m not sure what that was.

Stranger: HERRO

Stranger: YOU BITCH COCKSUCKING CUNT.

Stranger: YOU LISTEN TO ME

You: Internet Tourettes

Stranger: N.o

Stranger: No.

Stranger: You iz just pissin me off

Stranger: lyk i cannot even handle dis

Stranger: fo’real

Stranger: i cannot

Stranger: iz you evan listenin?

You: I am listening.

Stranger: i dont even understand

Stranger: no you iz not!

Stranger: listen hur

Stranger: fareal

Stranger: listen hur

You: Listening

Stranger: You aint got no business in disrespectin me

Stranger: Boo’kay?

Stranger: Tanks boo boo

You: Mm

Stranger: IZ YOU LAFFIN AT ME?

You: No, I am eating your pants.

Stranger: oooohhh

Stranger: that makes sense.

You: What makes sense?

Stranger: I’m not sure.

Stranger: lyk fo rela

Stranger: real

Stranger: lol

Stranger: bitch

Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Omegle!

It is time for a new string of fun.  I ‘ve been going on the website Omegle a lot.  How it works is they pair you up with a random stranger and you two talk.  Sometimes interesting, sometimes less.  I thought here would be a good place to share them.

Omegle conversation log

2009-12-07

You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

You: Hello.

Stranger: hey

Stranger: i must spread the word for that god has asked me to obama is the antichrist, and please don’t disconnect for that it will be your choice to ignore the importance of what i have to say

You: How could I ignore this?

Stranger: im just asking you to believe for that god has grown weak and needs others to pass on such information for that the devil may cause the world to end in 2012

You: Go on.

Stranger: would you like me to send you my morals?

You: Go ahead.

Stranger: according to the bible, the greatest story of them all.

Stranger: He is diverse from the other kings [Daniel 7:24]

Obama: Mixed race

Stranger: if he asks for ur suport in having a mark on ur hand or head say no and ull go to heaven btu say yes for it will save ur life u will forever go to hell

Stranger: such things will occur in his last year of his term

You: In 2013? We’d already be dead by then.

Stranger: no hes been our president for almost a year now

Stranger: his term will end in 2012

You: Right

Stranger: its a cycle for that after the great depression the holocaust came, hitler was a man who rose to power and laid marks on many he was thought to be the antichrist but no hes not bc the world has not ended so now our next suspect is obama for that we are in a recession(like the depression) and the cycle must continue the marks will be laid upon us soon

Stranger: He will speak boastfully [Daniel 7:8; Rev 13:5]

Obama: Change we can [blindly] believe in…

Stranger: He will oppress the saints and be successful for 3 ½ years [Daniel 7:25; Rev 13:7]

Obama: One termer.

Stranger: He will try to change the calendar, perhaps to define a new era, related to himself [Daniel 7:25]

Obama: Michigan primary… once again change he can believe in… may be a 3 day work week.

Stranger: He will try to change the laws, perhaps to gain an advantage for his new kingdom and era
[Dan 7:25]

Obama: wants to re-negotiate NAFTA!

Stranger: nafta- north american free trade agreement

Stranger: He will not be succeeded by another earthly ruler, but by Christ [Daniel 7:26-27]

Obama: these events of which are soon to come.

Stranger: do you hear me?

You: I do hear you.

Stranger: i can’t make you believe but i can warn you however its your choice to believe or not to believe but god now know that i have warned you so if you continue to ignore the warning i have given to you, the devil will suck you into hell.

Stranger: its your choice please believe please

You: Hm

Stranger: what are you thinking about the warning i have given to you

Stranger: will you take it into consideration

You: Hm

You: I want a sign

Stranger: a sign?

You: A sign from God

Stranger: god has grown weak for that hes relying on us believers to pass this information

Stranger: hes grown weak due to the devil gaining power

You: Why is he gaining power?

Stranger: bc he has taken over obamas body and now he has power over the us

Stranger: thats what the devil hopes to do overcome good with evil

Stranger: and hes doing a good job

Stranger: the voters of obama have been victimized by obamas evil that no one can see for that he appears different and a man of peace (1st black president peace for blacks)

You: That’s unfortunate.

Stranger: please

Stranger: do you believe

You: I mean. Obama’s helped me already.

Stranger: how

You: With some of his reforms

Stranger: which reforms

Stranger: tell me i will find the true evil within

You: He had one that makes it easier for college students to repay loans

Stranger: he makes such laws to have more people to like him for that he appears peaceful

You: Hm

You: Well it’s working

Stranger: dont let it work its as easy as that

You have disconnected.